From what you wrote, he's already tried to persuade you that things aren't the way they seem, but keep in mind the facts at hand, keep in mind his past history, and think hard about if things would truly be any different with him in the future, all things considered. If lying is a deal breaker then break the deal. And now I'm off to cry for a while:
He could be hiding a battle carrier compared to what you caught him with. In short, is he functioning? Good for you for standing up for yourself. From what you wrote, he's already tried to persuade you that things aren't the way they seem, but keep in mind the facts at hand, keep in mind his past history, and think hard about if things would truly be any different with him in the future, all things considered. How you doing, Mr. Big tree fall hard.
People who hide their drinking are usually in pretty deep, in my experience. He does not respect you, and there's nowhere for this to go but down. And it hurts like hell to let go of a relationship that is so wonderful except for this one little thing. Because I'd just been questioning him about why his breath and two of his fingers stunk of cigarettes I have told him repeatedly that it's up to him whether he smokes , I told him I'd believe him about the cigarettes if he got the hip flasks for me.
Just after some second opinions as it has been an otherwise very loving and supportive relationship and I have never felt so comfortable to be myself with anyone before - it's my best and healthiest relationship ever. Write yourself notes and set reminders so you can remind yourself on challenging days why you started in the first place. Hey, I'm super proud of you for sticking up for yourself. Alcoholics knock beginnings of relationships out of the park.
You said you've been gaslighted before so you already know what people are capable of. I never would have been able to take care of my father the way I did when he was sick. We're good at it. I think this is what recovery is all about. These are friends, lovers, ex lovers,family, Co workers and other people to say goodbye to.
Here are a few: You answered your own question. I don't particularly want to be in a relationship with an alcoholic. Now I feel like... I stopped drinking, yeah.
If lying is a deal breaker, if you've been gaslighted before, why are you putting up with it now? I came to this by the fact he moved in with you in a week. So how do you go from being un To being the sexiest man alive?
Who would collect that debris left after the storm? Be nice to yourself, and try to surround yourself with healthy supportive friends right now. You'll be helped there.
An interpretation of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
So when he got passed over for yet another big role, he asked his agent why. Comments Kathy Brous says: I don't want to be in a relationship where we lie to each other about anything more seriously than whether we like each other's presents, according to our friend this is unrealistic Some people are OK with relationships that have little white lies, others aren't, but that's beside the point.
Cut your losses and move on. In a weird way, you were right ; the lying DOES matter more than the drinking. Securely attached people are like super heroes. People also have obligations with various things they are involved in. It sounds like he is heading for if not very much in the midst of - these are only the lies he's been caught at a major relapse -the lying is all wrapped up in that. He's been telling you that you can't trust your senses, - that's gaslighting, no?
Did he want you to be an actor? And in my case, the lying is so much worse than the drinking itself as you posted. Here's hoping things look up and up and up from here. The styles are formed in childhood. If I were you, I would make him find another place to live, ask him to commit to AA daily for the three months he's already promised to be sober most meetings will have someone who can sign a paper verifying attendance, since it's often a requirement for parole , and back WAY off to a typical four-month relationship place, which would be right about where partners probably see each other 2-3 times a week and are considering saying "I love you" for the first time.
Bradley cooper has that "Regular guy" story that makes you believe good things happen to good people, as long as they fight the good fight. I need to find someone who knows how to stay together and has. I'd break it off. And this is your first whiff of something that makes you feel like shit. Inane BS justifications of one's relapse don't hold up well to the light of objective observation. Because I wouldn't have been able to have access to myself or other people or even been able to take in other people if I hadn't changed my life.